Okay, I won't go into details here, but I got woken up at 8 this morning by the person I was supposed to go with canceling on me, and I refuse to go into the city by myself, so I panicked and started contacting everyone I could trying desperately to find someone to go with. The unsung hero of this story is my friend Steve, who although we only hung out outside of work a grand total of 3 times, and I'd only seen him once since I moved back to the US, called out of work to come with me. He is amazing, and I love him. Anyway, now on to the report.
We were first in line, getting there around 3:10. We waited. And waited. And waited. One of the interns was new, it was her first day. It was her, a dude, and this cute little blonde girl who looked a little like Amy Smart, not an intern but a free-lancer from what she said. I chatted with her a lot, she was awesome, and said that I have beautiful eyes. Despite my awesome place in line I ended up in the third row back, next to the center aisle on the right side. Stand-by people got front row seats. Seriously, WTF? Though on the plus side this did mean that I got to chat with the ladies and this other dude who I swear was gay even though he was wearing a wedding ring and I heard him mention his wife. But yeah. Waiting waiting waiting. They were having some technical difficulties and we didn't even get into the studio until about seven. Pete came on and did his thing, though he was a lot funnier tonight than he was the last time I was there. Still douchebaggy, but he actually made me laugh. Knowing now that he's into audience participation stuff, me being the attention whore that I am made something of a spectacle of myself when he said something about it being gay night, since I was wearing my LGBTerrific! shirt. Whatever, all that stuff is boring. The one good thing about where I was sitting, though, was that when Stephen was ready to come out, I could look back over the railing and catch a sneak peek of him psyching himself up for the show, shaking hands with all the crew members and interns (what an
awesome fucking job), and finally dashing out to take his laps and leap about the set like he does.
Adorable. Then he came up and asked if anyone had any questions to humanize him before they got started, and of course my hand was up before he even finished saying it. He looked right at me and said-
"I saw you first."
And my heart went all a-flutter.
Not- "Over here," or, "Okay, you," or, "Yes?" or, "You first." No.
I.
saw. you. first.
Miracle of miracles, though, I neither stuttered nor made a complete idiot out of myself. Instead, I just asked him a question.
And then tried
way too hard to use it to forge a connection that really wasn't there, but whatever. So I'm a sad pathetic fangirl, I know this about me and I'm surprisingly okay with it.
My question was really lame though. I'd considered a few and had thrown them out for various reasons, and in my fluttery state fell back on an old stand-by. "If you were a jellybean, what flavor would you be and why." His answer was nearly verbatim the same as the one I always give, which of course I felt the need to tell him excitedly. *headdesk* I'll relate it to you the best that I can. Sadly, we all know my short-term memory is terrible even under normal circumstances, let alone when I'm all a-buzz with this kind of excessive excitement, so the evening is very much a blur. He said, "Buttered popcorn. Because so few people can stomach it. Not because it doesn't taste like buttered popcorn- but because it
does. Only without the right texture. I'm really... I'm a chore to stomach." I wanted to say Bitchplz! and tell him that the only thing that's hard to stomach is the three days we have to spend without him, but I was too busy squealing with internal glee that I found something tenuous in common and also that buttered popcorn is my favorite jellybean, and all the requisite jokes about eating that could be made going through my mind, and in the mean time he moved on. XD I can't remember all the questions, there were none that particularly stood out, but I'll relate what I can remember.
Someone asked if he'd seen whatever that Michael Jackson tribute movie is, and he said no, then she asked him if he could moonwalk. He said of course, and attempted to do so, and got stuck on a strip of tape on the floor. Then said as much, moved and tried to do it again, and didn't quite accomplish it and conceded that he really couldn't.
Someone asked which guest he'd most like to have, and they were obviously not a
real Colbert fan because we all know the answer to that one don't we ladies and gentlemen? "J.D. Salinger. I'd call him a phony."
When asked what he was going to be for Halloween, first he said, "A loving father," and melted my ovaries. Then he said he dresses up like a vampire every year. He was a vampire before vampires were cool. Everyone else was like, "Werewolves!" and he was like, "
Vampires!"
Someone mentioned that they'd been at a thingie (writing class, I can't remember) with Lauren Someone (again, terrible memory) from The Daily Show, and she asked why Stephen was so good at keeping a straight face and Lauren said, "Because he has no soul." He got adorably mock evil and said something like, "I'll tell you what Lauren (Someone) doesn't have."
He was asked if he'd shave his head again if he went to the war zone again, and he said he would, but that he probably wouldn't be going again. Definitely not Iraq, maybe Afghanistan. Then he asked the stage manager if he'd want to go and he said sure, and Stephen said, "No you don't."
Another person asked if he'd be doing another Christmas special (which had been a contender for one of my questions actually), and he said they would be, they'd be remaking last year's special, redoing it shot for shot, using all the same camera angles and editing it together the same way so it would look
exactly the same, but it would still be a different show and we should watch it.
That was all I can remember. XP
The makeup girls came out and touched him up, and he teased them same as I wrote about last time, hamming it up for the audience. I feel like he was extra cheerful today, really beaming and smiling, I couldn't look away, not that I ever would have wanted to.
He made a tiny mistake in one of the first segments, so he had to go back and reshoot like 5 seconds of something, and it was something that we remembered we'd laughed and applauded at originally, so when he redid it we (the audience of course) all burst into wild applause and laughter, and when he was done he looked at us all surprised and happy and said, "...Wow, you are the
greatest audience ever! Are you all professional actors or something? *conspiratory grin* Is this a casting call? Where's the camera?" SO CUTE. He said something again at the end of the taping, about what an unbelievably great audience we were. I fluttered. A lot.
It was really weird not to see Allison there. I overheard the interns/wranglers (they stand in the middle and add to the laugh track) talking about who I thought was her, missing someone female who interacted really well with Stephen, so I leaned over the rail and asked, "Who, Allison?" and I don't think they had been talking about her but the cool girl said, "Oh we all really miss Allison." Gay?Dude asked if I knew her and I was like, "OMG no, not as a person, but from the show. She was amazing. I actually welled up when he did the tribute to her on her last show." Cool girl immediately commiserated with me and held her hands up to her heart, it was sweet. Allison is well loved, and incredibly missed.
Ooh, I almost forgot about the WRISTSTRONGS! He flung a bunch out at the audience (one came RIGHT NEAR ME but the guy in front of me got it. :P), only two of them in a row snapped and fell on the desk, and he also just failed completely a few other times, it was hilarious. <3
Our guest was really fun, even though I had no idea who he was, and he made Stephen crack up a lot, which is always amazing. Then right before he did the night's send off, he told us to watch on the monitors so we could see the AMAZING special effects. I was like, "Not on your life, pal." But once he-
( Cut for spoilers, in case you haven't seen it yet. )Finally, though, he had to say goodbye and left back down the aisle. Not reaching out to touch him was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my entire life.
So yeah. That was my second taping, AKA the taping that very nearly wasn't. Oh, there was no pen chewing tonight, which was a little sad, but the pen that he had did light up when he clicked it. His smile, I maintain, is dangerous, with how it cuts right to the heart of you. My love for this man knows no bounds.
Also, on a totally random note, I had the
craziest out of the blue fantasy smack me fully formed in the face while I was in the waiting room. Totally G-rated, but just...really
weird. I've been under an extreme amount of stress lately and my depression's been getting more and more severe and blah blah blah thanatos and the unconscious desire for death, but I think that had the biggest impact on why this particular JD-style fantasy popped into my head. I've been debating whether or not to post it here, but I've never been one not to divulge every detail whether you want it or not, so I'm just gonna slap it up under a cut, read it or not, at your discretion.
( I really do wonder about me sometimes. )Anyway, I am exhausted, sore, and on the verge of collapse. And I have a show to do tomorrow even though I destroyed my voice screaming my lungs out for Stephen tonight. So I'm gonna go hop in the shower, maybe read just a bit, and go to bed. See all you lovely people in the morning.
<3
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kitsunesan's journal
disappointed
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rahmbamarama, but I felt the need to re-post it here, just for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, and because I found it extremely cathartic.
sore
weary
exhausted
embarrassed
not awake yet
agitated with myself
horny
determined
giddy
blah
devastated
blergh
enraged
jubilant
restless
bouncy